https://www.fapjunk.com https://pornohit.net london escort london escorts buy instagram followers buy tiktok followers Ankara Escort Cialis Cialis 20 Mg
Tuesday, March 19, 2024
Home Leaders Community What NOT to Say to Someone in Pain

What NOT to Say to Someone in Pain

Several years ago at a physical therapy appointment I was getting some kinks worked out of my back. As the therapist torqued my left leg into a pretzel, she told me about a friend who recently got news about a life-threatening medical condition. As my therapist shared, she felt unsure about what to say to her friend facing such sadness. Even though I’ve been in ministry over 35 years, the right thing to say to a person in pain still eludes me. What should we say to someone like her friend? Or better yet, what should we not say?

Since our youngest was diagnosed with a brain tumor 28 years ago (and is now doing well), what people have said to us through the years has run the gamut from perfect to really bad. Most people really want to encourage when we hurt, but often they say exactly what you don’t need to hear.

Here are a few statements to NEVER say to someone in pain, no matter what kind of pain.

  • Everything will be all right. God’s in control. (Yes, God is in control, but everything may not turn out all right.)
  • Just have more faith and you will be fine. (Platitude)
  • God told me that you’d be healed/your problem will go away. (Why did He tell you and not me?)
  • Could there possibly be some sin in your life? (Sounds like one of Job’s friends.)
  • My (aunt, uncle, grandmother, etc.) faced the same thing and they were healed. (I’m not your aunt, uncle, grandmother, etc.)
  • Well, I’m facing such and such … and then this person prattles on and on about himself or herself, seemingly oblivious to our pain. (You really didn’t hear me, did you?)
  • Just let us know what we can do. (Often this really means nothing or else they would have gotten specific on the spot.)

Words carry great power. The book of Proverbs tells us they have the power of life or death and that a well-placed word is very valuable. This verse is a great one.

The right word at the right time is like precious gold set in silver. (Prov. 25:11)

I’d love to hear words that you’ve heard or said that were like gold in times of pain.

Previous articleApp
Next articleBloom Where You’re Planted
Charles Stone
Charles Stonehttp://charlesstone.com/
Both Charles and his wife Sherryl  have a heart for pastors and pastors’ wives. They have taught hundreds of pastors and their wives in the United States, Canada, Nicaragua, Colombia, and Mexico. Charles earned an engineering degree from Georgia Tech, a Master of Divinity from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and a Doctorate of Ministry from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He just began another master’s degree in Neuroleadership. He’s also an avid Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket fan. He has been professionally trained in these areas by these organizations: Life Coaching through the Professional Christian Coaching Institute Strategic Planning through Ministry Advantage (certified) Vision Clarity through the Church Unique Process (certified) Conflict Management through Peacemakers Charles is the author of three books – Daughters Gone Wild – Dads Gone Crazy (Thomas Nelson, 2007), 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them (Bethany House, 2010), and People Pleasing Pastors: Avoiding Pitfalls of Approval Motivated Leadership (Inter-Varsity Press, January 2014). He loves to fish, ride his recumbent bike, and go to the movies with Sherryl, his wife of 33 years (he always gets the jumbo bag of popcorn with a free refill). They have three grown children: Heather, age 30, who is married to Charlie; Joshua, age 29, who is married to Deborah; and Tiffany, age 26, who lives at home. One canine also makes his home with them in Spring Grove, Illinois.

2 COMMENTS

  1. How about… “Wow, I’m crushed to hear this. You must be terrified and heartbroken. Can we pray together right now?”

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

Most Popular

Eminem – Stronger Than I Was

We woke reasonably late following the feast and free flowing wine the night before. After gathering ourselves and our packs, we...

Dj Dark – Chill Vibes

We woke reasonably late following the feast and free flowing wine the night before. After gathering ourselves and our packs, we...

Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love (Dj Dark & Adrian Funk Remix)

We woke reasonably late following the feast and free flowing wine the night before. After gathering ourselves and our packs, we...

Silicon Valley Guru Affected by the Fulminant Slashed Investments

We woke reasonably late following the feast and free flowing wine the night before. After gathering ourselves and our packs, we...

Recent Comments

Ngallendou Dièye on Navigating the Wave of Need
subash on 3 Kinds of Leaders
Ngallendou Dièye on 3 Kinds of Leaders
Eric Richardson on 3 Kinds of Leaders
Malcolm Webber on 3 Kinds of Leaders
Ngallendou Dièye on Our Evangelical Cover-Up?
Mark Larson on Is Competition Wrong?
betty-wiseheartedwomen.blogspo on Is Evangelical Worship Headed for a Huge Crash?
Ngallendou Dièye on 3 Fears that Paralyze Potential
Mwesigye Batatwenda Peterson on Pain
Mwesigye Batatwenda Peterson on 5 Reasons We Struggle to Rest
Michelle Chiappelli Zvyagin on Is Evangelical Worship Headed for a Huge Crash?
Ngallendou Dièye on Why Jesus Let People Walk Away
Jim Sutherland on How to Help Someone Not Change
Ngallendou Dièye on How to Help Someone Not Change
Ngallendou Dièye on Alone in a Crowd
Nancy Watta on Leaders Act!
Dr George Varghese on The Weapon of a Clear Conscience
Ngallendou Dièye on 10 Ways To Lose Great Staff
Ngallendou Dièye on Christian Celebrity Culture
Ngallendou Dièye on What NOT to Say to Someone in Pain
Joel Loewen on How to be Patient
Ngallendou Dièye on A Bit of Advice on Giving Advice
Malcolm Webber on 7 Key Paradigm Shifts
Malcolm Webber on 7 Key Paradigm Shifts
Ngallendou Dièye on 7 Key Paradigm Shifts
Ngallendou Dièye on Leaders Act!
Elisha kakwerere on 10 Reasons Leaders Stop Growing
Ngallendou on The Idolatry of Missions
Kyla Alexander on The Idolatry of Missions
Edgard Abraham Alvarez Muñoz on Little Church, Big Mission
James Ruark on A Church Led By Scholars
Ngallendou on A Church Led By Scholars
Bill Blatz on A Church Led By Scholars
Bill Frisbie on Who Stole My Towel?
niklaseklov on Who Stole My Towel?
Malcolm Webber on We Need to Learn Empathy!
Hansraj Jain on Honoring Your Predecessor