Recently I participated in a leadership retreat near Lake Michigan focusing on renewal. The purpose of the retreat was to teach how to offer renewal to others. The first morning I got up early for a walk on the beach and discovered a very unique stone in the shape of a heart with a hole in it. This rock became a metaphor for change that I continue to wrestle with.
Something that I have always affirmed and know to be true hit me again in fresh way. As a leader, I can’t offer renewal for others unless I experience it myself. Social researcher Brené Brown talks about vulnerability as the place where real power lies. The question is, as a leader, do you ever let others see your imperfections and needs ‒ that you are human?
The following is an excerpt from my journal:
A Hole in My Heart
There’s a hole in my heart
formed by constant pressure life demands
Like water shaping and passing through rock
Sometimes when I stop to notice
I am human
I see the hole; vulnerability, doubt, fear
constant striving to prove I am worthy
I tell myself, “Be strong! You’ve got this.”
But noise silences the soul
from speaking it’s truth into my reality
this reality
I try to hide the hole so others can’t see
Projecting adequacy, leadership, proficiency
Covering my heart with hands that serve
as if others can’t notice
my unmet need for significance and belonging
But the hole’s still there
as if waiting with bated breath
for someone to notice;
emptiness, longing
for renewal
Finally, I open my heart to others
only to discover they too have holes
Hearts like mine needing to silence the noise
to hear the voice that says,
“It’s okay. Let go. Stop trying to carry
the weight of the world.”
There’s a hole in my heart
formed by constant pressure life demands
Like water shaping and passing through rock
and today I notice, embrace it, share it
wholeheartedly
I am human.
