voguerre sunderland escorts 1v1.lol unblocked yohoho 76 https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/yohoho?lang=EN yohoho https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/agariounblockedpvp https://yohoho-io.app/ https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/agariounblockedschool1?lang=EN
Saturday, December 21, 2024
Home Leaders Spiritual Life From Expectation to Gratitude: The Greatest Poverty of All

From Expectation to Gratitude: The Greatest Poverty of All

 This is the final part of a series on leading in weakness.

Part 1 – Letting Others Be Strong For Us: From Insecurity to Generosity
Part 2 – When Our Best Isn’t Enough: From Control to Acceptance
Part 3 – From Passivity to Empowerment

I’ve never known the helplessness of poverty. I’ve always known that in the worst case scenario, I could always live at home with my parents, crash with a friend, or bank on my education to get a job.

However, during my post-college years, I went through a period of time when I had less than $20 in my pocket. I remember the sinking feeling of not knowing how I would pay for my next month’s rent, and not wanting to have to ask my parents for a loan. I remember walking around town looking for a $2 dinner, and even skipping meals when I had to. It was a humbling time of weakness in my life.  (I write about this in What Really Matters in Leadership? but here is a more detailed version of my story)

“The Best Burrito I Ever Ate” : )

Over the months, this experience began to transform me. I remember distinctly a time when a good friend asked if I wanted to go eat lunch with him, and I didn’t know how to answer. Should I just say no?  If I told him that I couldn’t afford it, he might feel obligated to pay for me, and I didn’t necessarily want that.

As it turns out, I agreed to go with him and resolved to just get something more inexpensive or small (it was Taco Bell, anyway). To my shame, when I pulled out my wallet at the register, I realized too late that I didn’t even have enough cash to buy what I had ordered. I was so embarrassed, and started to revise my order: “Actually, take the burrito off the ticket…” In the middle of my sentence, my friend interrupted and said, “Hey Adrian, I’ll cover it.  No problem.”

I hesitated, “No, you don’t have to…”  But he insisted, “Let me serve you. It’d be my pleasure.”

It was just a friend paying for my meal ‒ a simple gesture that’s happened hundreds of times before and after this one incident in my life. But given my life circumstance at the time, I couldn’t have felt more grateful. It was also one of the best-tasting meals of my life. During the poorest time in my life, I felt very rich.

When I reflect on what made the difference in my attitude, it was my weakness and lack of ability to buy food for myself that cultivated gratitude when someone provided for me.

“We Weren’t Worth His Time”

Years later when I had a more stable income, I went to a fancy restaurant to celebrate a special occasion with my wife. As we sat down to our table, our waiter came by and asked us what we wanted to drink. Fairly soon, he realized that our check wouldn’t be very expensive ‒ we weren’t ordering wine or even appetizers for our meal. After that, his service to our table was slow and somewhat dismissive when we called for help. It almost seemed like we weren’t worth his time.

When we got our car, I offered what I thought was a decent tip to the valet attendant. He looked at the tip, gave a small, scornful laugh, and walked off.

I walked away from this restaurant feeling deflated and devalued. And it struck me how this kind of attitude and experience is not uncommon among the wealthiest people and places of the world. That’s not because money in itself is evil, but because money is a source of strength and power. Power can intoxicate people who are used to getting what they want, and strength can make them feel they deserve or are entitled to it.

In the hands of my friend who paid for my meal at Taco Bell, money was a gift that caused incredible gratitude in my heart. In the hands of servers at the fancy restaurant, money was an expectation.

“When We Are Weak, We Are Strong”

Now I see things differently: some of the wealthiest and strongest people of the world are actually poor, in that they fail to grasp the value of the bounty they have. Perhaps this is the greatest poverty of all.

In contrast, some of the weakest people in the world are rich in their appreciation of the little they have. Weakness cultivates gratitude, rather than expectation or entitlement.

James 2:5 says: “Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?” Weakness can grow and strengthen our faith.

As I learn what it means to lead in weakness, I now find even greater value in my emptiness ‒ whether it’s during times when I feel exhausted and powerless, or when I intentionally give up power in my relationships and leadership (as described in the last post). I know these are the experiences that deepen my appreciation for people, God and life. I know these are the experiences that will help me notice even the smallest gestures of kindness, rather than overlooking them like the servers at the fancy restaurant. These are the experiences that can make us into better leaders.

Mother Teresa once said, “The poor give us much more than we give them. They’re such strong people, living day to day with no food. And they never curse, never complain. We don’t have to give them pity or sympathy. We have so much to learn from them.”

What can we learn from our times of greatest weakness? And what can we learn from the “weakest” people in our lives?

Adrian Pei
Adrian Peihttp://www.adrianpei.com/category/blog/
Adrian's passion is to make leadership connections about topics that matter. His current job is to oversee leadership training and content development for an Asian American ministry organization. Adrian consults, writes, speaks, and designs content. He loves innovating, collaborating, and seeing a project through from start to finish. Adrian graduated with degrees from Stanford University and Fuller Seminary and lives with his family in sunny southern California.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

Most Popular

Eminem – Stronger Than I Was

We woke reasonably late following the feast and free flowing wine the night before. After gathering ourselves and our packs, we...

Dj Dark – Chill Vibes

We woke reasonably late following the feast and free flowing wine the night before. After gathering ourselves and our packs, we...

Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love (Dj Dark & Adrian Funk Remix)

We woke reasonably late following the feast and free flowing wine the night before. After gathering ourselves and our packs, we...

Silicon Valley Guru Affected by the Fulminant Slashed Investments

We woke reasonably late following the feast and free flowing wine the night before. After gathering ourselves and our packs, we...

Recent Comments

Ngallendou Dièye on Navigating the Wave of Need
subash on 3 Kinds of Leaders
Ngallendou Dièye on 3 Kinds of Leaders
Eric Richardson on 3 Kinds of Leaders
Malcolm Webber on 3 Kinds of Leaders
Ngallendou Dièye on Our Evangelical Cover-Up?
Mark Larson on Is Competition Wrong?
betty-wiseheartedwomen.blogspo on Is Evangelical Worship Headed for a Huge Crash?
Ngallendou Dièye on 3 Fears that Paralyze Potential
Mwesigye Batatwenda Peterson on Pain
Mwesigye Batatwenda Peterson on 5 Reasons We Struggle to Rest
Michelle Chiappelli Zvyagin on Is Evangelical Worship Headed for a Huge Crash?
Ngallendou Dièye on Why Jesus Let People Walk Away
Jim Sutherland on How to Help Someone Not Change
Ngallendou Dièye on How to Help Someone Not Change
Ngallendou Dièye on Alone in a Crowd
Nancy Watta on Leaders Act!
Dr George Varghese on The Weapon of a Clear Conscience
Ngallendou Dièye on 10 Ways To Lose Great Staff
Ngallendou Dièye on Christian Celebrity Culture
Ngallendou Dièye on What NOT to Say to Someone in Pain
Joel Loewen on How to be Patient
Ngallendou Dièye on A Bit of Advice on Giving Advice
Malcolm Webber on 7 Key Paradigm Shifts
Malcolm Webber on 7 Key Paradigm Shifts
Ngallendou Dièye on 7 Key Paradigm Shifts
Ngallendou Dièye on Leaders Act!
Elisha kakwerere on 10 Reasons Leaders Stop Growing
Ngallendou on The Idolatry of Missions
Kyla Alexander on The Idolatry of Missions
Edgard Abraham Alvarez Muñoz on Little Church, Big Mission
James Ruark on A Church Led By Scholars
Ngallendou on A Church Led By Scholars
Bill Blatz on A Church Led By Scholars
Bill Frisbie on Who Stole My Towel?
niklaseklov on Who Stole My Towel?
Malcolm Webber on We Need to Learn Empathy!
Hansraj Jain on Honoring Your Predecessor