One of my biggest challenges in leading teams has always been conflict management. I usually try to let it resolve itself but sometimes that has blown up into even worse conflict situations.
I don’t want to avoid conflict but I’m also unsure how to diffuse it. How do you get people to hear each other and come to resolutions?
Resolving conflict is not optional. How we address conflict reflects upon the being of the Lord Jesus.
It cannot be about who is proven to be in the right or who is justified. No, it must be about glorifying God and adorning the doctrine of God (Tit. 2:10). We must be peacemakers, even willingly suffer loss for the sake of peace.
By this shall all people know that you are my disciples – in that you have love for one another (John 13:35).
Keith Yoder’s book, “Mastering the Art of Presence-Based Leadership” has been very helpful. In my various leadership teams, I work to model “Listening to the Lord” while “Listening to them”. When a conflict arises, after allowing leaders to voice their views, I lead our group/team in a time of “Listening Prayer” to seek the Lord’s Heart and Wisdom for what we should do, or how we should understand what we are facing. It is very cool to see how the Spirit unifies us.
First, I seek to do my best to show both team members respect and honor so that they do not think I am taking sides. Second, I share with them my “observations” as impartially as I can. Third, while this is all going on, I am listening to the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance. I am also interceding as necessary according to Eph.6:10-13. Fourth, we go to prayer together, then “debrief” on what we sense the Lord is telling us.